United 767 Polaris Business Class Review Zurich to Newark: Disgusting Food, Great Seat

Rating: 3/5 (Great hard product, meh service, horrific food, and United’s 767s are OLD)

Route: ZRH-EWR (UA135 depart 10:10AM arrive 1:35PM … westbound time travel)

Price: 87,500 Air Canada Aeroplan Points + ~$140 USD. Note this is the cost for this flight AND for my previous flight from Singapore to Zurich in Swiss Air’s 777-300ER Business Class. This is why Aeroplan miles are one of the best currencies to hoard (and super easy to access via bank transfer partners): These points got me 24 hours in business class on a ticket that would’ve otherwise cost at least $5k one-way… although recently United availability has been near zero

Introduction

Good ol’ United. I flew United a ton growing up since my home airport was SFO, so they have a soft spot in my heart. Even though they receive a ton of (often well-deserved) hate, I honestly think United is fine. They have a super consistent fleet, and in terms of soft product you pretty much know what you’re going to get (verbally abused). Just kidding. Kind of. But to their credit, if flying in business class, they have the most consistent fleet of any US airline. Book any long haul seat, and in 95% of cases you’re getting the same seat – United Polaris. The same could not be said for American or Delta, the latter of which has especially horrible seat consistency in business class.

Today, I was flying on their 767-300ER to Newark. All in all, this flight was exactly what I expected. The seat was great – despite being a bit old at this point, United Polaris seats are still super comfortable and have aged very well. The last time I flew United Polaris was in 2018 and the seat controls and paneling all still felt fairly new. However, as expected, the service was aggressive and the food was truly horrible.

For points though, I can’t complain. But if I had bought this flight with cash, I’d be pissed. At the end of the day though with any US carrier, if you’re paying for business class you’re just paying for a lie-flat seat – of which, United delivers the most consistent product of any big 3 US carrier.

In this post, you’ll find:

United’s Old 767 Fleet – Why Does United Still Have These Planes?

One quick note on United’s 767s. They currently operate 37 767-300ERs, 24 of those in a “high-J” configuration (half the plane is business class). Despite being a widebody aircraft, these super-premium 767s have just 167 seats, which is insane. Many narrowbody aircraft (737s, A320s) have more seats.

These aircraft are featured on the high-yield ultra premium routes you’d expect: EWR / ORD / IAD to ZRH / GVA / LHR / CDG.

Here’s how the high-J configurations are set up:

46x Polaris Business Class Seats

22x United Premium Plus (Premium Economy) seats

99x United Economy Seats

Here’s the seat map:

Tons of premium seats, sounds nice. What’s the problem? These planes are OLD. As in, older than me. United’s 767-300ERs push 30 years old on average, well past the usual economic life of a commercial aircraft. Why does United fly these old planes on its most premium routes? The answer you’d expect: money.

The majority of these aircraft are fully depreciated. Financially, that means there is no ongoing capital cost to fly these aircraft, because upon purchase United’s accountants (reasonably) didn’t think they would still be flying 30 years later. While these aircraft are significantly less efficient fuel-wise and for recurring maintenance vs. next gen aircraft (i.e the 787 or A350), they still are basically “free” to fly with only variable operating costs (fuel & crew).

United does eventually plan to phase these out in the “2030s”, but I doubt they are in any rush to do so unless fuel costs spike massively (which to be fair, they have in recent weeks given the middle east conflict).

Luckily, the routes they fly are short enough (6-8 hours) where you don’t notice it materially vs. next-gen aircraft (787s and A350s). The only difference is that the lighting is old, the windows are small, and the plane is loud. On longer flights though, next gen aircraft make the trip much more comfortable (significantly quieter and lower cabin altitude / higher humidity).

Zurich Ground Experience

I arrived to Zurich airport from my previous flight from Singapore on Swiss Air business class, which was surprisingly great. I had around 3 hours to kill, so I went to the Swiss Business Class lounge at the E gates. This lounge is lovely – great views and great food. And empty most of the time. Probably one of the better business class lounges in Europe that I’ve visited.

United Polaris Flight & Service Review

Boarding began around 45 minutes ahead of departure. This is probably overkill given this aircraft is so premium-heavy with so few passengers for a widebody plane. One quirk of Zurich airport is they actually have security people that will walk up to you airside and question you randomly about your trip. They asked me where I was coming from, and my favorite of my trip to Singapore (“uhhh the Hawker Centers?”). To make sure everything was above board, I guess.

Boarding began with groups 1 and 2, followed by everyone else.

Boarding was super quick, given over half the plane is basically in groups 1 and 2. Here’s the massive business class cabin:

All seats feature direct aisle access and are in a 1-1-1 configuration. This plane is great for solo travelers (me), but note there’s no good options if you want to sit next to a travel partner.

The cabin lighting is definitely old though. Looks like a sad library.

My seat was the furthest back window seat. While every seat has direct aisle access, some are much closer to the window, so keep that in mind. Here’s my seat, 17L:

While the seat and tech has aged well, it was dirty and could use a deep clean:

Here’s the view facing forward:

Each seat on this flight came stocked with a Therabody amenity kit, Saks – branded pillows and blankets, and a menu.

And here was the menu for today’s daytime (westbound) flight. It looked good on paper, at least.

Before long, we were pushing back and taxiing out to the runway. The sky was also starting to clear up, making for some nice takeoff conditions.

After we hit cruise altitude, service began. Service on this flight was what you’d expect on average from United: unfriendly and transactional. The meal service began with drinks and nuts:

They said they were out of Tuna, so I got the whipped ricotta and arugula salad. The whipped ricotta was fine, but the arugula tasted like someone just dropped dry arugula into a frozen bowl. Which probably is exactly what happened.

And onto the main – I opted for the lamb shank, which ended up being a huge mistake. This piece of meat was legitimately inedible. Half of it was fat and it was cold. I just munched on the beans and polenta.

For dessert I opted for the cheese, which was fine (hard to mess up). I wish they gave actual crackers though, not 2 packaged ones.

It’s clear the United does not compete on soft product. They know this, and they probably don’t care. After all, as they say, the Big 3 American Airlines are just credit card companies that fly planes on the side. People buy these seats to have a lie flat bed with a consistent hard product – no surprises. If you want nice food, try a European airline (those can be hit or miss though – I’ve had good luck on Air France and Finnair).

This 767 was huffing and puffing over the Atlantic. Speeds were quite slow (to be fair – the jetstream does blow East), although it eases up in the summer.

After watching some shows, we were already over sunny Newark. I landed comfortable, but hungry.

Conclusion

Overall, this flight is exactly what I expected. United offers such a great hard product – Polaris seats are still some of the consistently best business class products out there that have stood the test of time. However, their food and service is quite bad.

All in all though, I wouldn’t hesitate to fly United again. Must be childhood nostalgia or something. Rhapsody in Blue?

After a whirlwind one-week trip to Singapore from NYC, I was excited to be home and in my own bed to catch up on some much needed sleep.